I recently finished reading your book, STANDING THE WATCH: The Greatest Gift, and I want to let you know how this little book has affected me.
As way of background. I have been a home health director for 16 years, since there was no hospice in our area, we provided terminal care through home health (as in your book). This past year we were able to establish and certify our hospice. So I have had plenty of experience with terminal care.
On a personal note. I am 40something, married, mother of two grown children.
Due to failing heath and loneliness, in 1998 my 83 yr old fatherinlaw moved in with us. He died, at home, two years later.
He and I loved each other, and at times even liked each other, but he was not an easy person for me to talk with and share thoughts with. I ended up bearing most of the responsibility for him and he was pretty crotchety. My husband was often unable to see his father's decline or needs, and his sisters were quite content to have their father at my home, merely visit, and offer suggestions!
I have been fairly (& mostly privately) bitter about the final few weeks of my fatherinlaw's life. and infinitely more cynical. I ordered your book for our hospice library, &, as is my usual practice, planned on reading it prior to placing it on the shelf.
When I started reading it, what struck me was how different we are (you and I), and how different our relationships with our father-in-laws were. You seemed to communicate well with Lincoln, he had been a part of your marriage vows, etc. I have been married since I was 19, and at the time of our wedding, committing to caring for an elderly father-in-law wasn't on my radar screen.
I persevered through the first sections of your book. It was easy to read and I was only reading a couple of chapters in bed every night. Then toward the middle -- when Lincoln began actively dying, I became more avid. Your writing really began to touch me. I would often cry (which is unusual for me) and sometimes weep. The sentence that really got me was an almost offhand remark toward the end, when you said something about how bigoted he was in conversation (I cannot quote it have already passed the book on.) Anyway the sentence jumped out at me as a good description of my father-in-law, and then you added ... so what?
Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are exactly right so what if he was ornery, opinionated and a bigot? So what that I didn't have my expectations fulfilled by either him or my husband. So What!
Soldier on, dear soul you are helping people in ways you will never be able to consciously fathom. Your simple little book spoke directly to me. Thank you.
Molly R.
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Published April 2009.
A Sally Sees Cozy Mystery
Cleaning up dead husbands is not in SALLY COLLIER's job description so when she finds one half-buried at the bottom of his garden, her Monday morning schedule gets seriously derailed.
Published October 2008.
When a prominent doctor in a Seattle hospital tells Lincoln Brown he has less than three months left to live; R. J. Brown's life changes. In the 89th year of his life, Lincoln chooses to return to his cabin in the rainforest of the Olympic Peninsula where his beloved Buddy dog awaits and where he can die at home in his bed, the way he was born, in the company of his family.
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